- 3 weeks ago
There's a few things here:
1. Just because you are a little and come out to someone as being a little doesn't mean you should force them into allowing you to fully regress in front of them and expect them to feel it's okay. Even if they accept that you are a little it doesn't give you a free ticket to expose them to all of your littleness. You should still act reserved and respectfully.
So, when you go to your friends' houses you shouldn't act any differently or expect them to treat you differently. That is unfair to push them into accepting new behaviors that you've hidden from them. They are still your friends and should not be pushed into being more or being exposed to something that may may you feel fulfilled but may make them feel evens lightly uncomfortable or confused.
Respect is so, so, SO important.
Remember, you can accidentally be disrespectful so you need to be extra mindful to be actively respectful. Maybe you don't have intentions to disrespect them but you might accidentally do that if you expect them to treat you ANY differently than they currently do (and that means wanting them to let you "be little" around them).
2. Reacting in a defensive way by saying, "It's not this and it's not that!" causes people to think more about those negative points that you are wanting to avoid. Instead, your best course of action is talking about what it is and what it means for you. Avoid saying, "It's not a k!nk!" or, "It's not sexual!" and focus more on how you feel during your regression and what is actually important about it for you. Don't talk about what it ISN'T, talk about what it IS!
Address questions about k!nk or sexual or whatever as they are asked directly of you and answer them point-blank. Don't get defensive!
"But isn't it a k!nk?"
"No, I don't have any sexual feelings like that in relation to being little."
You don't need to work to "convince" them. You don't need to get upset or be defensive over it. You don't need to fight them on what they do and don't understand. Just be direct, straight to the point, honest about YOU and let it be that.
Remember, you don't need to educate them about what it isn't or about the entire, whole, giant community that they don't know about. You're just telling them about YOU and who you are.
3. The little personality trait often means that your friends have seen you do smaller, regressive things already in front of them in a very acceptable way with no attached expectation on their part. What I mean is, a lot of littles find that they do things differently than their peers. Their peers, obviously, do see them do these smaller things perhaps more childishly and accept these differences as being okay.
This is a really important point to use when explaining what being little means because you can help who you're telling understand that when they say you do something silly and different it was because of this personality type you have.
"Do you remember when everyone was ____ and I was silly and accidentally ____ instead? It was like 'a little moment' for me. I didn't realize that I was acting like a kid at the time when everyone else was acting more our age."
"You know how I have that habit of ____? And everyone always thinks it's silly and laughs or gives me strange looks because it's different? It's times like that where I'm feeling more little and accidentally falling into expressing it."
4. Bleeding into point #3 and also tying to point #5...you don't need to tell your friends about "littlespace" or "regressing" to have them accept and love you for who you are. Again, they've probably seen you do little things every now and again anyway and, obviously, are still your friends. Tying a label to your actions might be too much and might make them feel like you're wanting them to treat you differently (which is really not an okay thing to expect, ever, when coming out to somebody). Sometimes putting a label on something or someone suddenly makes other people uncomfortable or feel like things just got complicated. Sometimes it's better to not tell them the label and just let them be friends with you, however you express yourself in front of them, and worry about labels for when it actually, really matters (like, when you're dating someone and you want to ask them if they would be interested in learning more about the community with you).
Giving yourself a label to be referred to as doesn't change who you are but it changes the way your friends have to refer to you--and that might mean it feels unnecessarily complicated to them and they react negatively to having to use a label now.
5. Here is the basic guide to help you with figuring out how to come out to somebody and it covers most of the other important parts:
You need to read through that a few times.