Tips on telling friends and family about being a little or age regressor
Many littles would like to express themselves in their day to day lives more regularly and feel core acceptance. A part of this expression is the big step forward on telling close friends and relatives about their interest in age regression or childlike interests. Phases, such as using clear words, readily providing information resources, and being prepared for both positive and negative outcomes are most important when approaching an outsider about this type of personality.
Ideally, a little should casually express their childlike traits around the person they want to acknowledge and accept their regression. This helps in that when or if the little chooses to label themselves as "a little" to the other person then the other person has more of a firm understanding that it's associated with their personalty and not a group, gang, or trend. Basically, allowing the person to first see childlike qualities allows them to accept the little's regression as a core part of them and not a fleeting act of attention-seeking. It is better to present small regression traits casually and periodically around the person initially so that acknowledging the regression "makes sense".
When a little chooses to tell a trusted loved one about their personality and wants them to acknowledge it with the "little" label then it is most important they choose their wording carefully. A direct statement is best to start out with when approaching the topic, and both parties should be focused on conversing rather than multitasking light conversation so that the receiver has an understanding that there is a label attached to the personality traits they've seen the little express around them.
The little must be ready to answer upfront questions the receiver may have about their experiences if the little chooses to ask the person to acknowledge them as "a little" in label (versus just accepting them as a quirky person who seems a bit childish at times, which is what most people would think if not asked to put a label of the personality traits
). It is recommended that the little make a clear list of information articles and websites that are available to the public to provide to the receiver. The little must also be ready to answer basic questions such as:
- Okay, so, what is this Caregiver/little or regression thing you're talking about exactly?
- Basically it's how I relax and generally a part of my personality. I'm just different than other people my age. I like a lot of things that are really targeted toward younger children like cartoons, puzzles, coloring with crayons, children's books, Disney toys, and stuffed animals. I'm trying to let you know that it's a healthy form of age regression where I'm interested in childish activities and toys, but I'm capable of learning, growing, and still functioning as society wants.
- Where did you learn about being a little or this regression thing anyway?
- I've known about my interests for awhile now as I was hanging out with friends and realizing I'm so different than them. When browsing online I found that there is a whole community of people who feel the same way that I do. I did some reading a little bit and realized that this is who I am too. I'm not alone in feeling this different.
- Where can I learn more about these things so I can understand what you're talking about better?
- There are a lot of resources online but only one place that I know is safe for people my age. You can check out it out:
- Does this have anything to do with child predators?
- No. Regression has nothing to do with predators or situations of "adult nature". This is a personality difference that only a small amount of people have, but that I feel strongly I have too. Just because I sometimes act like a little kid or like stuff that is meant for kids doesn't mean that I am interested in children like that. It also doesn't mean that I'm interacting with adults or people older than my age just because I feel like a little kid inside.
- When did you know you regress?
- I've known about my interests for awhile now. I've always been into things like coloring, cartoons, and Disney trivia. I could sit and talk to friends and just point out so many things about them that seemed more mature than how I felt and thought. I also found myself doing things that little kids do and really, really getting into it, really enjoying the feeling of freedom to do what was making me happiest even though people my age don't do those things any more.
- How long have you been age regressing?
- I've known about my interests for awhile now. I often find myself overindulging in childish behaviors and interests like cartoons, junk food, and silly things like building blanket forts while coloring. I'm not sure exactly when all of this started but I know it's something I identify strongly with very often. Just, one day I realized that I'm not like my friends and I think that's okay.
- Do you regress often then?
- Some days I'm more into my feelings of wanting to be little more than other days, I guess. Sometimes when I'm upset--like when I'm very stressed out--I end up watching extra cartoons or Disney films or find myself lost in a childish task like playing with my stuffed animals. It's really dependent on what mood I'm in, and what responsibilities I have to take care of in the immediate time-period we're talking about. I'm just me though!
- Does your boyfriend/girlfriend encourage you to do this?
- I do have a partner.
- My partner participates with me a little bit. While I am in my littlespace--a time where I feel I'm at a younger mindset and I'm kind of leaving behind my worries for a time--they make sure I don't get hurt, lost, or in any trouble. They may prepare snacks for me, operate the DVD player for me, or just cuddle with me and my stuffed animals. They're just there for me, you know?
- My partner does not participate in my regression with me. It just isn't something that makes them happy or fulfilled and that's okay. I don't necessarily need them to participate in it with me for me to be happy.
- I do not have a partner.
- If I do meet someone in the future then I'm sure it would be something we would talk further about before deciding if they want to watch over me when I am being extra little. It's not something I plan on keeping from them but I feel like it's important we talk about it whenever it comes up at that point.
- What do you do when you regress?
- It really fluctuates on my mood when I go into what I call littlespace. When I feel like being little is relaxing then I might color with crayons in a cartoon coloring book or watch some cartoon movie. I might play with stuffed animals, have a drink from a sippy cup, bottle, or plastic kid's cup, or make beaded necklaces or bracelets. Sometimes I just relax on the couch with a snack and watch a movie that I get really, really into with giggles and all.
- Where do you do these things at?
- I usually feel most little when I'm in a safe, comfortable place. Because of this, I'm most often feeling little when I'm at home alone or in my bedroom. If I feel very comfortable with someone then I might also act a little more playful or childish around them, I guess, like when I go out with my best friend. It's all about where I'm most comfortable and who I'm with at the time.
- Have you told anyone else about regressing? If so, how did they respond to it?
- I haven't told many people because it's an easy thing to have misconceptions about. It's important that I only tell very trusted people about it so that they give me the opportunity to answer questions they may have and explain myself if they don't understand. Plus, it's really not everyone's business anyway. I'm just me, you know?
- Is this a phase? Are you going to grow out of this?
- I guess it could be a part of maturing but I don't really feel like it's something short-term. I really, truly feel like this is a core part of who I am as a person. I'd like you to accept that feeling too instead of thinking I'm going to change. Let's just acknowledge that this is who I am right now, and maybe forever then, and we can continue on from there, okay?
- Is this because you've been feeling stressed/depressed lately?
- I really don't think so. I really believe this is a part of who I am as a person and that I'm just a little bit different than other people my age. I feel happy knowing this about me, but I do know that I tend to really indulge more in my childish feelings and thoughts when I'm stressing out or sad. It's just comforting to be able to express myself though. I want to ask you to accept that this is a part of who I am and not label it as me feeling stressed out or depressed about something, please. I really want you to accept me too.
- Okay, so, now that I know you're a little, how am I suppose to treat you?
- Just treat me the same way you always have. I'm not asking you to do anything different or special just because you realize I'm different too. I'm still me. Now you just have a better understanding of when I act a little silly and that it just means I'm probably in a good, comfortable zone. I'm still the same person I always have been.
Making a handwritten or typed out list prior to revealing themselves can be an extremely important factor in reducing anxiety and misunderstandings. It is also crucial that the little does not take offense to the questions being asked and approaches the situation not in a defensive manner, but, rather, in an informative state. It's okay to say, "You know what, I'm not really sure about that, but I think I can find some answers for you if you give me some time, okay?"
Littles should be prepared for both a positive or a negative reaction from the recipient. Prior preparation can help them react more appropriately and not in any extreme manners. A little should think very clearly about who they are telling and they could potentially lose from telling the person versus what they could potentially gain from expressing themselves. Ultimately, the reaction isn't something that can be controlled so it's important all real possibilities are thought out thoroughly before proceeding forward.
This is one of the largest steps in a littles life so they should consider this to be something of a serious matter that shouldn't be taken lightly. Being fully prepared prior to choosing to explain the interest to a friend or family member is crucial. Preparation methods as thinking about developing clear wording, being prepared with informative resources and answers to question, and being emotionally stable for either good or bad outcome may prove to be vital in having a calm, informative conversation with the other person.