General conversations about the CGL community, sharing experiences, exchanging advice, and answering your basic questions.
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By CeCe945
Membership Days Posts
#615
I think that this is a good idea.
If you want some advice I suggest you:
1) stay in a safe place.
2) if anyone knows you as little, contact him/her for any help
3) don't eat to much

And for now nothing else.
If you wanna talk about this with me again, no problem! :slightly_smiling_face:
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By Admin
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#630
Absolutely!

It's extremely healthy for you to create your own rules and structure when trying to correct unhealthy or unwanted behaviors about yourself. You do not need a Caregiver to evaluate your life and figure this out for you!

I would suggesting avoiding the generic lists you can find online or only looking at them for examples before really, thoroughly thinking about your life and if a rule actually applies to your needs. You are special, unique, and the only one you. That means that nobody else just magically knows where you can use some self-improvements. Only you probably really, truly know right now.

Think about things you do that might not be the greatest but are small things that can be slowly improved upon. A lot of people use the bedtime example since a lot of people struggle with it. It goes like this:

Rule: Beditme is at 9:00PM on weekdays and 10:00PM on weekends (Friday night and Saturday night).

Then they make sure they are snuggled into bed by their 9:00PM hour they chose and do their best to train their bodies into the routine of falling asleep around this time. They may set such a rule because maybe they keep finding themselves staying up very, very late and being too tired for school the next day or too tired or take care of other things they need to do (like regularly shower, have breakfast in the morning, homework, or chores). After you feel you've made achievements (like doing this consistently for a week, then a month, then 2 months, then 3 months...) then you reward yourself with something small but nice (stickers, coloring books, a small plushie, a keychain, a special meal or snack, anything really!).

Also, please avoid setting rules around things like self-harm, depression, mental health issues, or eating disorders if you suffer from any of those. Those things should not be necessarily "rules" but just places where you just generally try to make improvements (with no pressure to "fail"). You don't want to accidentally "mess up" and "break a rule" and end up spiraling out of control with something like this so take these things a little bit more fluidly with maybe setting little daily goals but not rules where you might feel bad if you make a "mistake".

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