General conversations about the CGL community, sharing experiences, exchanging advice, and answering your basic questions.
Forum rules: Exchanging contact methods (such as a username elsewhere, phone number, e-mail, etc.) will get you permanently banned from the site. Do not do it. Please respect our rules.
  • User avatar
  • User avatar
  • User avatar
does anyone else deal with this or something similar? i’m having a hard time figuring out if i am little because of lack of proper care and because i can never seem to get into the right mindset. when’s i am “little” i am always still fully aware of everything going on outside of my safespace. being little isn’t helping me, it’s only making things more stressful. but i don’t want to stop being little. could someone give me some advice? this is relatively new to me and i’d really appreciate the help.
usually i sit or lay in bed and play with my stuffies. i’ve never been a very open or playful person so when in littlespace i tend to only want to comfort of other people. i enjoy cuddling and getting loved on more than playing or coloring. i think that’s why i have such a hard time. i also have no means of getting or keeping little things because my parents would question me. i don’t know how to be little without a caregiver because my mind and body crave attention and care that i am unable to attain
So, there are a few crucial things you need to understand:

1. Regression or "littlespace" is not therapy. It may feel therapeutic for some people when they fully express themselves but it is not actual therapy and cannot substitute therapy.
Please see a counselor if you need help with managing stress, past trauma, or coping with a current situation. Regression is not going to magically do that for you or anyone. There is nothing shameful about needing a little assistance in life.

2. A heavy regression experience does not "make everything go away". You do not become someone else, and you do not forget what exists. You still have full awareness around you and you should. This is not a mental disorder. This is a rare personality trait. The expression of that personality trait is commonly referred to as "regressing" or "littlespace" within the community. It just means you are actively displaying your trait externally. It does not mean you become a biological child again--you cannot forget what you have learned and developed!

3. You cannot force yourself to be or to stop being a little. Again, this is a personality trait that a relatively small number of people were either born with or developed at an extremely early age. You cannot stop being who you are, and you cannot magically just pick up the psychological identity of someone else.

4. Our community is about people with a rare personality type. When we talk about regression in the community being a personality type we mean that it is a core part of who you are as an individual. It means that most littles/regressors never experience their regression as a separate space and that often their littleness blends in with everyday life. A lot of active regression for a little happens in small subtle ways throughout everyday activities.
It's all about a personality type, a natural way of thinking and your unique characteristics, that extends far past the idea of immaturity. It's related to your natural behaviors, your logic and way of processing information, your emotional responses, what drives your habits and the choices you make, and just generally your base perceptions.

It's much more than setting side some private time to drink from a sippy cup and roll around on your bed with stuffed animals. It's the driving reason why and how these activities are fulfilling to your core, to your soul. It's the moments where a little can fully express themselves and feel relief that they're not having to push back these feelings to appear "normal" to typical people their own biological age--because most littles have been taught to repress their trait in effort to "grow up" and conform with expectations. So, the moments where they do not have to force themselves to "act mature" can be a major relief, and it's in those times that a little may say, "I was regressed," or, "I was in littlespace." It doesn't mean that they did not always have that regression about them, it just means that for some period of time they no longer had a buffer on what they were doing in terms of self-expression.

5. You do not need a Caregiver to be able to experience regression if you are a little. This relates to another point, where you cannot become someone or something you aren't.
A Caregiver is much like a parental sort of partner. Parents are not as hands-on and interactive to children when children are doing activities targeted to children. A lot of parenting is passive is what I'm saying.
So, logically, a Caregiver has a lot of passive moments where they are simply "accepting" the little in their regression. They are often "on standby" where they multitask another activity while the little colors, watches a fun movie, draws, listens to music and dances around, plays with their stuffed animals, coo or crawls, eats their fingerfoods, etc. When the little is not in heavy regression then the Caregiver takes on a more romantic role where they are essential the persons boyfriend/girlfriend/partner.
Having another person around is absolutely unnecessary when it comes to fulfilling self-expression, and I would strongly encourage you to find the wholeness in your private expression rather than focusing on not having a secondary, passive person around.
thank you very much for this information. i will try and become more accepting of myself and stop expecting others to always be there to pick me up when i have all the tools necessary to be me. i really appreciate this info and will try my hardest to take this to heart and use it the right way. thank you

Tangled 😁😁

Pastel clothing is awesome to wear when I feel lit[…]

It doesn’t bother me that much. I find birth[…]

I really want to try diapers and more little outfi[…]